Have you ever taken a child to the zoo or an amusement park? Did you notice how they try to run ahead wanting to see the monkeys or ride the carousel? My kids would sometimes grab our hands trying to pull us along. Sometimes they would attack us with a barrage of pleading to hurry up to their place of interest. Mostly they would excitedly run haphazard with no regard for direction or plan. Often in their enthusiasm to see something they would rush off headed in the wrong direction. With four kids it always seemed like chaos.
Lately I feel like my mind has been just like my kids at the zoo. It’s darting around from one thought to another. There’s so much going on at once it feels like my mind has disregarded the plans I’ve had and is instead running wild. Mostly I’ve been thinking about how I need to reassess my plans but have been frustrated with my lack of being able to focus on anything specific.
Can you relate to that? Life is busy. Sometimes too busy. There’s just not enough time in a day. I know that when my mind starts running ahead of me and I can’t focus on any one task then it’s time to take a step back. It’s time to make time.
When I finally took a moment to slow down I realized I hadn’t made a plan for anything. What I really had was an unending to do list with no plan of action. I haven’t been making progress because I’ve been skipping around from one project to another in my mind. I’ve wasted a lot of energy thinking about everything I have to do and only a small portion of time actually doing any of it.
Today when I got to church I had high anxiety over how much there was left to do in a weekend that was already half over. You know those sermons when the Pastor is speaking directly to you? Today’s hit its mark directly in the middle of my forehead. As the Pastor spoke about waiting on God, I was reminded of a picture I had taken the evening before. The sun was setting and had created a beautiful array of blues and purples mixed together with the remaining sunlight. It was breathtaking. While my husband and I were driving home that evening I asked him to pull over so I could take a picture. As we came upon a clearing where I could take a great picture we found the road lined with cars and an unusual amount of people who had also stopped. While I stood there taking the picture I noticed a sense of peace had come over me. The kind of feeling you get when you’re truly living in the moment and there’s nothing else on your mind. For the first time in months there really was nothing else on my mind. I was able to fully enjoy the beauty of the sunset and felt a special connection with all the other people who had stopped to enjoy it as well.
I realized that while I’ve been busy making plans and churning chaos in my mind. I had not been enjoying any of it. I also had not taken time to wait on God for guidance. I’ve been that little child at the zoo pulling him along by the hand. I’ve been pleading with him about all the things I want to do. But I haven’t checked in with him to find out if I’m headed in the right direction.
So today, although I had a million and one things still needing to get done, I chose not to do most of them. Instead I took a long peaceful paddle down the river and enjoyed every second of it.
Psalm 25:5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.